Kim Chisholm - The Struggles of Balancing Work and Family Life in Academia

The Struggles of Balancing Work and Family Life continues with Kim Chisholm, an Anne McLaren Research Fellow at the University of Nottingham. In this interview, Kim reflects on her journey from undergraduate and doctoral training at UCL to postdoctoral research in London and her current fellowship in Nottingham.

Kim shares her experiences of navigating academia alongside motherhood, including having children during the pandemic, managing career transitions, and balancing research leadership with family life. Her reflections offer a nuanced and honest perspective on flexibility, identity, and the emotional realities of combining academic work with parenting.

Before we get into the more specific questions, please can you share your academic journey?

I completed my undergraduate degree in Psychology at UCL, followed by a PhD in Neuroscience/Neurobiology, also at UCL. My doctoral research focused on mitochondrial function in sepsis, based in an multiple sclerosis lab. I then moved into the field of pain during my first postdoctoral position with the late Professor Stephen McMahon at King’s College London. After that, I continued with a second postdoc, jointly supervised by Professors Dave Bennett and Stephen McMahon.

It was during this period that I had my first daughter and went on maternity leave. My second maternity leave happened during the COVID-19 pandemic. Around that time, Stephen sadly passed away, and I continued working remotely under Dave Bennett. For the past three years, I’ve held an Anne McLaren Research Fellowship at the University of Nottingham.

The pandemic coincided with a very intense period in both my professional and personal life. Nurseries were closed during the first lockdown, just as I had my first child and was pregnant with my second. Navigating remote work, restricted nursery drop-offs and pick-ups, and constant COVID testing created a very stressful environment. From my own experience - and from conversations with colleagues - the burden of these disruptions fell disproportionately on the primary caregiver, which is often the woman in a family. We saw a notable drop in grant submissions from female academics with children, while in some cases, male colleagues were able to increase their outputs. Even with a co-parenting setup, young children tend to cling to the primary caregiver, making handovers difficult and extended. I was also working entirely remotely at the time, as travel was limited. While this was challenging, it also highlighted one of academia’s strengths: its flexibility. I often found myself trying to work while hearing my daughter calling from the next room - definitely not ideal, but manageable.

One of the unexpected silver linings of the pandemic was the rapid normalisation of remote work. Tools like Microsoft Teams, which I hadn’t even heard of before my maternity leave, suddenly became essential. This shift brought a lot of benefits: greater flexibility, more inclusive meetings, and the ability to continue collaborating even when children were unwell or home unexpectedly. I no longer felt embarrassed if my daughter appeared on screen or if there were background noises because people were understanding, and that made a big difference. The increased ease of building and maintaining collaborations remotely has been another major benefit. While in-person interactions remain valuable (especially for mentorship and hands-on learning), the hybrid model we’ve adopted post-COVID has made academia more accessible and family-friendly.

What motivated you to pursue an academic career, and has that changed over time?  

If I’m honest, I somewhat fell into academia - it wasn’t a lifelong goal or something I aspired to from a young age. I’m actually a bit wary of the narrative that you need to have known you were destined for academia since you were six years old, categorising leaves or building volcanoes. That simply wasn’t me. As an undergraduate, I enjoyed my studies, but it never really occurred to me that academia was a career path, or that you could actually be paid to do a PhD. I remember someone saying, “If you want to continue, you can apply for funding to do research,” and I thought, really? Someone will pay me to do this? It was almost accidental; I applied thinking, why not? And that was the beginning.

I think it’s important to challenge this idea that to be a “real academic,” you must have been single-mindedly committed to the path from childhood. We need to create a culture where that’s not the expectation, where there’s room for different journeys into academia. Of course, the environment plays a huge role: mentors, peers, and the subtle (and not-so-subtle) messages we internalise. Sometimes it’s not the overt criticisms that do the most harm, it’s the casual remarks: “Where were you?” or “Are you even around this afternoon?” These comments can quietly reinforce the idea that you’re not fully committed, even if they’re not intended that way.

Academia has a strong culture of identity fusion (where your job becomes who you are) and I don’t think that’s necessary or healthy. That kind of pressure can be especially difficult to manage for parents, particularly primary caregivers. During my postdoc, I was fortunate to work in a well-funded, well-established lab with a very supportive PI. That environment gave me space and a sense of security that I later realised was a luxury. Having a strong network is critical but maintaining one can be incredibly difficult when you have family responsibilities. A lot of professional networking happens informally (at conferences, during dinners, or in the margins of workshops) and these opportunities are much harder to access if you’re juggling childcare or can’t travel easily. As a parent I often have competing priorities: Should I attend this? Should I stay home?

Social media adds another layer to this. I was never particularly active on platforms like Instagram, but after having kids, someone mentioned it was a great place for baby recipes and they were right! But, along with the tips came an avalanche of ‘mum guilt’ and comparison. Even posts made with the best intentions can have unintended emotional impacts. Someone may just be proud of what they've accomplished, but it’s important to be aware of how those land on someone who’s struggling or in a different phase of life. I think we all have a collective responsibility to help make these spaces less toxic and more mindful.

I’ve been hesitant to give my lab an online presence for that very reason. There’s a lot of potential to connect and share, but also a huge responsibility in shaping how others perceive your work (and themselves) in that space. The scale of that reach can be overwhelming, and it contributes to the ever-present imposter syndrome many of us feel.

What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced in balancing academic demands with family responsibilities?

Aside from the obvious challenge - time - the biggest difficulty is the constant pressure between competing responsibilities. There’s simply never enough time. Academia often relies on the flexibility to work outside of traditional hours, but once you have children, especially young ones, that flexibility largely disappears. For example, some days I need to leave by 3 p.m. to pick up my kids, which means my PhD student may have to manage without me and that’s hard. I work 80%, which officially is part-time, but in reality, the responsibilities don't decrease by 20%. The pressure to support my lab and keep research moving doesn’t go away just because I’m not in the office full-time. But for me, one of the hardest aspects isn’t just time, it’s the split guilt. Even before I had kids, I used to experience this. I’d go to the gym in the middle of the day, which felt like a healthy, necessary break. But the whole time, I’d be thinking, If I’d skipped the gym, I could’ve finished that analysis or run that experiment. And then when I was working, I’d think, I really should’ve gone to the gym - I needed that time for myself. Now imagine that, amplified, when you have children. You’re constantly questioning your choices: Should I have stayed longer in the lab? Should I have gone to that school event? That constant mental negotiation, the emotional tug-of-war between work and home, is exhausting.

I think one thing that’s helped is routine. School starts at 9, and I have to be there with them, no negotiation. There’s something oddly freeing about that constraint. The lack of choice can actually reduce the psychological burden. But it’s the decisions, the optional parts that weigh on you most heavily: Should I do this seminar? Should I accept this collaboration? Should I take this trip? And then there’s the mental load, which is hugely underappreciated. It’s not just the day-to-day logistics, it’s the endless, often invisible planning of all the “extra” things: school holidays, after-school clubs, childcare gaps. For instance, some holiday clubs won’t accept kids under five, even though school starts at four - so then what? You’re constantly solving these little puzzles in the background while still trying to be a present parent and a productive academic.

Have you encountered biases or assumptions related to your role as both an academic and a parent? How did you address them?

Interestingly, I actually have a somewhat positive perspective on this. One of the things I’ve appreciated - especially since moving to Nottingham - is the way the academic community here makes space for parenting responsibilities. There’s an unspoken, but widely respected, assumption that if you’re a parent, you’re likely off during school half terms. And that assumption is incredibly helpful. It means meetings typically aren’t scheduled during those weeks, and there’s no need to explain or justify your absence - it’s just understood. It’s small things like that that make a huge difference. Many of my colleagues (particularly those who are parents themselves) are very mindful of this. It’s not formal policy, but it’s embedded in the culture, and that eases a lot of the pressure that working parents face.

Even in my own lab, I’ve felt supported. For example, my student knows that on certain days (Monday, Thursday, and Friday), I do the school pick-up. She’ll remind me, “It’s 3 o’clock - school run time!”  That kind of understanding and flexibility, especially coming from early-career researchers, is really meaningful.

Of course, that hasn’t always been the norm. I think we’re starting to see a shift in attitudes, where parenting is no longer seen as something you have to hide or work around in secret. Instead, it’s increasingly being integrated into the fabric of academic life. It doesn’t eliminate all the challenges, but it does lift a significant burden. When the broader academic environment acknowledges and supports your role as a parent, it becomes easier to navigate both worlds without constantly feeling like you're falling short in one or the other.

Do you think issues like maternity leave, childcare availability, or flexible working arrangements impact women in academia?

Absolutely - these issues have a significant impact on women in academia, often in ways that are underestimated or overlooked. From my own experience, I took maternity leave during my postdoc, and I think that stage of your career is, relatively speaking, more manageable for taking time off. As a postdoc, your primary responsibility is your project, and in many cases, a project can be paused and picked up again. That said, it really depends on the size of the lab, the funding body, and how extensions are handled. So, while maternity leave as a postdoc can work well, it’s still highly situational. Where it becomes far more complex is later in your career, particularly when you’re a PI. The higher up you go, the more your responsibilities shift away from your own work to the people you support: your lab members, students, staff. What I’ve seen is that many PIs, even while on maternity leave, continue to supervise and manage their groups because those responsibilities don’t stop. Personally, I feel fortunate that I didn’t have to navigate that during my own maternity leave (I wasn’t yet in a leadership position) but I’ve seen how challenging it can be for others.

The good news is that funders are becoming much more aware of the long-term impact of parenthood on academic careers. It’s not just about the time you’re technically on leave - it’s the entire peri-parental period, especially the transition back to work. It can take months, even years, to regain momentum, and of course, once you’re a parent, those responsibilities are permanent. Some funders are beginning to acknowledge this by offering additional time (sometimes six months or more) on fellowships or grants, which helps. But the system is still evolving. We’re getting better at understanding that parenthood affects productivity far beyond just the year of leave. Supporting these structures more robustly is essential if we want to build a more inclusive academic environment.

Are there specific strategies or habits that have helped you maintain a balance between your academic work and family life?

For me, the most important thing is routine. It sounds simple, but it’s absolutely foundational. Having a consistent daily structure takes away the constant emotional and mental labour of having to choose, every single day, what’s more important: your work or your family. That constant weighing up is incredibly draining, and no matter what decision you make, your brain will often try to make you feel guilty about the other.

Looking back, would you do anything differently?

It’s a hard question, because so many factors influence when and how you have children - personal, professional, and practical. Looking back, part of me thinks, I wish I’d had my kids earlier, simply because I love spending time with them. But then, of course, I might have missed out on experiences that helped shape who I am now. So, I don’t think there’s a perfect answer and I’m not sure I would actually change anything. What I can say is that I feel much more balanced now in how I navigate being both a parent and an academic. And while it’s certainly not always easy, for me, it’s been fantastic. Becoming a parent has helped me redefine myself in a healthier, more rounded way. I no longer see myself solely through the lens of academic success. I now have two identities - a mother and a researcher - which has helped me keep things in perspective. Before I had children, I was definitely one of those people who worked very long, often unhealthy hours. In some ways, I probably reinforced the belief that academic success demands total sacrifice. Having children challenged that mindset and, honestly, it liberated me from it. It made me realise that it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, it shouldn’t be that way.

What advice would you give to young women entering academia who are also considering starting a family?

It depends so much on your individual circumstances: your support system, your financial situation, your institution, your partner (if you have one). One thing that I think is nearly universal is the need to come to terms with the reality of split responsibilities. Balancing an academic career with parenting is hard and the emotional load is often the most difficult part. You will almost certainly feel like you're not doing enough, in either role. You’ll feel like you're not being the parent you want to be, and not the academic you aspire to be. And that feeling can be really heavy.

So, my advice would be making peace with that feeling early on. Don’t let it define you, but don’t waste energy trying to eliminate it either. Instead, learn to live well with it. I often compare it to how we think about chronic pain - it may not disappear, but you can build a good life around it. 

Give yourself compassion. Seek out a supportive network and try to surround yourself with people who don’t feed into the myth of perfection. 

Thank you to Kim for sharing such a thoughtful and candid account of her experiences in academia and motherhood. Her reflections highlight both the challenges and the possibilities of building a fulfilling academic career while prioritising family life.

Keep an eye out for the next edition of the series, coming out at the start of next month.

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This interview was conducted by Neave Smith and edited by Rebecca Pope, with graphics produced by Shauna Angell. If you enjoyed this article, be the first to be notified about new posts by signing up to become a WiNUK member (top right of this page)! Interested in writing for WiNUK yourself? Contact us through the blog page and the editors will be in touch.